restoration.

“He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake” - Psalm 23:3 (ESV)

I find myself this week tapped out in an attempt to salve spaces within the margin for me and the season ahead. The more I lean into the uncertainty, the greater the clarity that comes from conversations with people that hold my heart. I feel like I am learning to be content with ending a relationship and marriage with a space that I have called my home for a greater part of a decade and then some.

Movement around me has challenged me to lean into change once more, a familiar skin that I have forgotten I once knew. I was telling a friend almost this time a few years ago, that for us third culture individuals change is within our nature. We know change, and are change. We are no strangers to the excitement that comes from stepping off the plane to the midweek meltdown in the third week of our new life wondering if we made the right decision. Yet the change seems so frightening because of the comfort we have grown into stepping into belonging, that the familiar becomes the content.

My time in this space I feel is slowly coming to a close, and perhaps I have one more adventure in this city filled with joy, grief, wonder and everything in between. I am terrified, yet hopeful, of what is to come and what will be. I am reminded that I am exactly where I need to be, and the gratitude that surrounds me is a joy and wonder of what I am assured.

I thank God for the spaces He has made for me to come home in, and for the people who have challenged, nurtured and allowed me to grow into more than I could imagine. When the time comes I know I will leave with a heart full of joy and wonder, at the growth and courage I found here, in just being and becoming.

So here begins, my long goodbye.